Your friendships are probably draining you.
There is absolutely no doubt that within this 3-month quarantine, there are many of us who are dealing with friend issues. Like, we have friends, but there are issues with our friendships. And now we have to actually discuss hugging. It's weird.
If you have not wondered, worried, or let your mind wander into no-man's land, creating assumptions about your friendships that you would have never considered four months ago, then you can just stop click on the "x" to exit this screen right now.
If you're still here, there is no doubt that you are exhausted trying to keep up with friendships through a pandemic, a quarantine, and now one of the most painful and awakening moments in our country's history.
But God was gracious to make something crystal clear to me that I need you to hear too. In order to stop the bleeding in your friendships you need to;
Meet her need, not her expectation.
Let me allow Jesus' life and testimony to set you free.
How often did Jesus meet people's expectation of who they thought He should have been? Mm, maybe never?
He should have been born into a royal family. I'm sure people expected Him to be radiant and glowing like an angel, not hairy and dirty from His travels. He should have been scholarly and pious like the Pharisees. He should have been larger than life.
John 1:14, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us."
Even as God in the flesh, He was nothing like anyone had expected. His brothers didn't even believe that He was the Son of God until after He died and rose again. Punks.
John 7:5, "For not even His brothers believed Him."
If Jesus knew that meeting the expectations of people would win them over, He would have gone that route. But He didn't, and neither should you.
It's time to start asking what she needs and prepare to go there with her, because it might be harder than you both ever imagined that it would be.
She may expect you to distract her from the pain, but she may actually need to be reminded that God is in control.
She may expect you to ignore the hard stuff, but she may actually need to process out loud what she is seeing in the news and how her family is reacting differently than how she feels.
She may expect you to stay strong, but she may just need to know that life is especially difficult right now and that it's ok to cry during your coffee date (in your car of course).
Be the friend she needs. Speak truth when it's easier to fluff up the tough stuff. Make your shoulder available to her even when you don't have it all figured out.
Jesus changed the world by meeting needs instead of expectations. We owe it to Him and to our friends to do the same.
With Love,
Em
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